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rach and I in 2003
rachanme.jpg

4th April 2004

         So, we're sitting here in Manchester's Royal Exchange having consumed two cups of tea each and discussed 'hair' at length we finally get down to our favourite subject - Cricket and Englands finest.

Having just slaughtered the West Indies (3-0) in the recent test series I defy anyone to claim we're crap.

Rach and I therefore discussed the players and their kidnap potential. For about a year Rach and i have had plans to kidnap certain members of the England team!!

So join us now and meet the players and find out who's top of the kidnap list and who's left holding the wicket....!

Added 29th August 2006

 

Name: Andrew Strauss

aka: Straussy or Struce

Born: March 2, 1977, Johannesburg, South Africa

Teams: Middlesex, England
Batting Style: Left Hand Bat 

Rach: he is a good batsman and I'm glad he's in the team

KT: I always thought he'd be next in line after Vaughan, something about his mentality

Kidnap potential?: 7/10 we don't want to snatch him away from captaincy so soon!

 

 

Name: Ian Bell

aka: Belly, Ding Dong

Born: April 11, 1982, Walsgrave, Coventry, Warwickshire
Teams:
Warwickshire, England
Batting Style: Right Hand Bat 

Rach: he's quite cute so high kidnap potential, needs a bit more England play though.  

KT: Glad he came through after a not so great ashes and as long as he doesn't challenge Cook to a place i'll love him!

Kidnap potential?: 8.5/10

Name: Stuart Broad

aka: babyface,

Born: June 24, 1986, Nottingham

Teams: Leicestershire, England
Bowling Style: Right-arm medium-fast

Rach: he is cute but young. More games for him please

KT: i agree he is a giant with a baby face but a good young player. So nice to have a 20 year old making his debut for england

Kidnap potential?: 9/10 although we will have to stand on a box to get him in the sack.

 

Name: Alastair Cook

aka: Cooky, or Cookie Wookie Woo (don't ask)

Born: December 25, 1984, Gloucester

Teams: Essex, England
Batting Style: Left Hand Bat 

Rach: We like Cooky. Definately need to see more of him, high kidnap potential.

KT: in the absence of Vaughan and Freddie he's our favourite (and Chris Read! obv.)

Kidnap potential?: he's a perfect 10

       

Name: Kevin Pietersen

aka: KP

Born: June 27, 1980, Pietermaritzburg, Natal
Teams: Hampshire, England
Batting Style: Right Hand Bat 

Rach: I think he can be good as long as he concentrates on his game and not what hair style he'll have next.

KT: i personally think his place on the team is gained by ego alone. i'd love him to prove me wrong. And soon

Kidnap potential?: 7.5 we don't have enough room for him and his ego

 

Name: Monty Panesar

aka:

Born: April 25, 1982, Luton, Bedfordshire
Teams: Northamptonshire, England
Bowling Style: slow left arm

Rach: he is obviously good and we should keep him in the team. you can't not like Monty

KT: Monty is ace. But he's not been picked for the one dayers, which saddens me.

Kidnap potential?: 8. we love monty!

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Name: Graham Thorpe

aka: Thorpey

Born: 1 August 1969, Farnham, Surrey
Teams: Surrey, England
Batting Style: Left Hand Bat 

Rach: Bless Him!

KT: Scored a ton, glad he's back on form. Nice hair band

Kidnap potential?: 4/10 too old

   

Name: Nasser Hussain

aka: Nass

Born: 28 March 1968, Madras, India
Teams: Essex, England
Batting Style: Right Hand Batsman

Rach: Scares Me!

Katie: Brave to hand over captaincy

kidnap potential: 3/10 too scary

 

 

Name: Paul Collingwood

aka: Colly

Born: 26 May 1976, Shotley Bridge, Co Durham
Teams: Durham, England
Batting Style: Right Hand Batsman Bowling Stlye: Right Arm Medium Fast

Rach: I read his colomn in the metro

Katie: give him a game!

Kidnap potential: 0 because then what would Rach read on her way to uni

 

Name: Michael Vaughan (Captain)

aka: MV, mickey V, skipper

Born: 29 October 1974, Manchester, Lancashire
Teams: Yorkshire, England
Batting Style: Right Hand Bat (Bowling Style: Right Arm Off Break)

Rach: aww the cuteness

Katie: My fave! born in Manchester - legend

Kidnap potential: 10/10 original cricketer for Katie and Rach to kidnap!

Name: James Anderson

aka: Jimmy A,

Born: 30 July 1982, Burnley, Lancashire
Teams: Lancashire, England
Bowling Style: Right Arm Fast Medium (Batting Style: Left Hand Bat)

Rach: SEXY!!

Katie: Very fit!

kidnap potential: 10/10 well, isn't it obvious?

 

Name: Chris Read

aka: ready, cutey

Born: 10 August 1978, Paignton
Teams: Nottinghamshire, England 

Wicket-Keeper Batting Style: Right Hand Batsman

Rach: awww! Bless him!

Katie: lovely eyes, A proper wicket keeper

kidnap potential: 9/10 small enough to fit in the sack!

 

 

Name: Marcus Trescothick

aka: banger, Tresco, 'My little man', marcy

Born: 25 December 1975, Keynsham, Somerset
Teams: Somerset, England
Batting Style: Left Hand Batsman

Rach: Can't wait to see you and the gang at old trafford

Katie: One of the original reasons i got into cricket in 1999

kidnap potential: 8/10 we'd have lots of sausages for tea

 

Name: Ashley Giles

aka: Ash, Gillies,

Born: 19 March 1973, Chertsey, Surrey
Teams: Warwickshire, England
Bowling Style: Slow Left Arm Orthodox

(Batting Style: Right Hand Bat)
Rach: cheeky smile

Katie: Not a wheely bin and not the King of Spain

Kidnap potential: 6/10 fun to be with

 

 

Name: Mark Butcher

aka: butch

Born: 23 August 1972, Croydon, Surrey
Teams: Surrey, England
Batting Style: Left Hand Bat

Rach: Bless Him (again)

Katie: Gets England out of trouble, lovely

Kidnap potential: 5/10 play us music!

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Name: Matthew Hoggard

Aka:  Hoggy, Baby Hair (!)

Born: 31 December 1976, Leeds, Yorkshire
Teams: Yorkshire, Free State, England
Bowling Stlye: Right Arm Fast Medium  (Batting Style: Right Hand Batsman)

Rach: Hat trick hero

Katie: Lovely, We love you Hoggy

Kidnap potential: 8/10 make him cut his hair - we want baby hair

 

Name: Simon Jones

Aka: Jammy, Jonesy

Born: 25 December 1978, Swansea (Wales)
Teams: Glamorgan, England
Bowling Style: Right Arm Fast (Batting Style: Left Hand Bat)

Rach: Aww, he hasn't got a proper pic - like the hat tho'

Katie: lovely curly hair - so why cut it?

Kidnap potential- 7.5/10 rach likes the Welsh, Katie likes the hair

 

 

Name: Steve Harmison

aka: Harmi,

Born: 23 October 1978, Ashington, Northumberland
Teams: Durham, England
Batting Style: Right Hand Bat
Bowling Style: Right Arm Fast

Rach: very very good. We like him, kinda cute

Katie: tall, bit of a ledge!

kidnap potential: 6/10 we'd like to kidnap him but his height is a problem, he wouldn't fit in the sack!

 

 

Name: Andrew Flintoff

aka: Freddy, Floff, Flinfloff

Born: 6 December 1977, Preston, Lancashire
Teams: Lancashire, England
Batting Style: Right Hand Batsman
Bowling Stlye: Right Arm Fast Medium

Rach: Very sexy man with big feet. I wish i'd spoken to him on the tram.

Katie: What a legend

Kidnap potential: 10/10 so Rach can marry him - Yeah baby!